#1 You must build one legged human body support gravity control and balance. Every day, support body weight with one leg, crouch until tailbone touches the back of the ankle, then raise the body back up. Repeat multiple times. Learn to hold one foot and jump through the hole with the other.
#2 Never give a bow and arrow to someone who doesn’t like you.
#3 Taffy does not work as a sealant.
#4 Don’t agree to watch your neighbors pets. It always turns into a problem
#5 Also, don’t feed penguins Cheetos. It gets them all worked up.
~ Noah
Dirty Bourbon River Show 